The Election Prognosticator

Well, the time has come, dear readers, for newspapers, newsletters, blogs and radio talk show hosts to start making predictions about this race.

DeWine's Daily Dose is no different. After receiving the Becker Report Newsletter, the publisher makes a fool of himself by predicting that Tom Brinkman is going to win this race.

There is no way in the world Tom Brinkman is going to win this race. Let me tell you why:

The votes will be split in four ways:

1) DeWine voters
2) Anti-DeWine consensus voters (McEwen)
3) Anti-DeWine splinter groups
4) Also rans

The only thing that Brinkman and Jean Schmidt are going to accomplish in this race is to help vault me to victory. My own internal polls have both Brinkman and Schmidt running very good races with the limited resources they have access to. Both should be congratulated for their hard work and tireless efforts.

Unfortunately, they were fighting a very difficult uphill battle against Father. And Father worked so hard to get me into office that he scared the daylights out of the anti-me voters that they all went out and united behind the one candidate they think can beat me: Bob McEwen.

Sadly for you anti-DeWine voters, none of the candidates did the prudent thing and dropped out of the race. Instead, they decided to stick it out, and now, your worst nightmare is about to come true.

But don't take it from me. Take it from the Election Prognosticator.